forgive – pardon
forget – to lose from the mind
I have come to the conclusion that the old cliché to forgive and forget is far easier for someone to give as advice than it is to actually apply in one’s life. We are all wired with the fight or flight syndrome. As much as we try to control our emotions, at some point in time another person will do or say something to set the bodies automatic fight or flight response into action.
As an introvert, the last thing I want is to be in a conflict. What I have learned, in the many classes I have attended on the subject of conflict resolution and stress management, is that the second to last stage of conflict for myself is to acquiesce to avoid conflict. When I find myself thinking this way, I know it is time to step back and analyze what is going on and see what I can do to defuse the situation. Otherwise the next phase has a direct connection with my Irish heritage, and that is to come out fighting. The longer I fight, the worse I feel. I usually end up punishing myself for loosing control of my temper. Sometimes I’m successful and sometimes I have the opportunity to learn more on the art of tact.
Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy. – Isaac Newton
To apply a Biblical principle, we are to forgive as God forgives us. God does not keep a record of our wrongs. If he did, the list of wrongs in my life would approach the number of stars in the sky. As I have looked deep within myself, and apply everything I have learned so far in my life, I have discovered that as long as I hold onto the wrongs against me it only continues to feed the anger and bitterness. I have learned the only way to escape these feelings is to let go and let God resolve the problem. The only way to forget is to be in the moment and enjoy today, for it is a new day and life is too short to be angry and bitter.