I don’t do Starbucks very well. This morning I’m not working on your National Security due to our inept politicians (I wonder if that is politically correct?). I ended up at a Starbucks to buy tea…plain black tea. This is where me and Starbucks don’t communicate well. I was given a choice of all kinds of different teas, none of which I can even begin to pronounce nor know if they would give me a positive drug test.

Me: Whatever is the closest to black tea?

The Barista: Our white tea is very popular.

Me: (thinking…did I just say black tea?) That will be fine.

The Barista: Would you like that hot or iced?

Me: (thinking again…duh, it’s 9:15 AM?) hot please.

The Barista: One or two tea bags.

Me: (annoience is starting to set in) Uh, two please (I happen to like strong tea).

The Barista: Would you like a pastry?

Me: (thinking again about all the pent up frustration from this stupid government shutdown and just wanting a simple black hot tea and why could this not be a Peet’s?) No thank you.

The Barista: Here you go…next!

I go off to find a place to sit and enjoy my “white” tea, which by the way, tastes exactly like black tea. At least I now know that when I want black tea at Starbucks, I need to order white tea?

And the scone? I bought that at a little coffee hut near a hospital…which is a story in itself.