Choosing To Be Happy – No. 20

dying-to-selfI’ve thought long and deep about writing this post. Since the Red Dog Garage is about my journey through life, and the lessons I have learned along the way, I decided it was time. On the 22nd of December 2013, I found out that my wife of 28.5 years had filed for divorce while I was reviewing our bank statements. The Friday after Christmas I was served with the legal documents.

We have been through a lot together. Raised two fine young adults who are just beginning their way into the world on their own. The past sixteen months have included counseling with four different professionals and a lot of hard work on my part to restore our relationship. The last 5.5 years included a battle with cancer for my best friend (who is still in remission) and two spine surgeries for myself. One would think that this would have drawn us together but it seems to have driven us apart. What I have learned so far is that sometimes in life, there are no answers to the question of “why is this happening?” It just is.

Anybody who has read my page Who am I knows that I am a Christian. I believe what the Bible says about divorce but I find myself caught between what I believe to be true and what the state laws require of me. Not a fun place to be.

I have no idea what my future will look like. I can only die to self and depend on God to direct my unknown path.

Today is a new day and for that I am happy.

12 thoughts on “Choosing To Be Happy – No. 20

  1. I’m sorry for divorce. I thought perhaps you had just separated for a time. I, too, divorced after 25 years and I have to say it was me who filed. I had no faith then, just self and what would make ME happy. I wonder at it now; just let me say that God can redeem (and forgive) all situations, though there are always consequences.
    Still praying for you, friend.


  2. Glad to see this Patrick! It is a big part of our healing to be able to even openly talk about what we’re going through. Encouraged at your choice to be happy inspite the less than desirable circumstances and praying that God’s peace will continue to hold your world together even as your face the uncertainty that tomorrow brings.

    Thinking of John Piper’s book “This momentary marriage” reminds me that even marriage is only for a moment; there shall be no marriage in heaven. As long as you keep holding on to your Savior’s hand… it shall be well, because He is the ONLY lasting thing!



    1. Redneck Garage


      Thank you for your encouraging words. Jesus is eternal and carrying me through this part of my journey. I just need to keep reminding myself to let go and let God do the work.



  3. Thank you for sharing your positive words in such a difficult personal situation. We can all draw strength from your example and this reminder to actively chose happiness came at just the right time in my day…


    1. Redneck Garage

      Thanks Lisa. I’m thankful to know that “Choosing To Be Happy No. 20” was able to help you in your day today. Choosing happiness is a conscious decision that is not always easy. But the outcome is always better. Have a great rest of you day!!! Patrick


  4. Jeffrey and I are sad for you and Dianne. We’ve been praying for you and will continue to do so. I am encouraged by your strength and dedication to prayer and seeing the beauty in the moments of your day as explained in the blog.


    1. Redneck Garage

      Thanks Susan, Jeffery, and Perry. I know the prayers of you and many others are carrying me through this very difficult and stressful time. I never thought this would happen to our marriage. Patrick


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