Finding Joy

I recently had lunch with a good friend. He shared that his wife did not like the fact that I met Lisa before the divorce paperwork was signed off and filed with the Court. I was taken aback by this comment and was unsure how to respond.

I have a deep faith in God and moving forward with my life was not a random set of decisions. In California a marriage cannot be dissolved until six months after the lawsuit is served. Unfortunately there is not a maximum time limit. In my case it was scheduled to be complete in 9 1/2 months. It ended up taking another 8 1/2 months (and an additional $17,000) to receive the final paperwork. This in itself could rob anyone of their joy.

When I married the first time I believed what the Bible says about marriage.

Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate. (Mark 10:9)

The last words my ex-wife posted to Caring Bridge, after five years being cancer free, is that she wanted a divorce. Initially it was filed as a separation but in California a separation creates a financial liability. I responded with a dissolution of the marriage.

I won’t bore you with all of the references in the Bible about sin and divorce, but anyway you look at this situation, according to God’s word I am a sinner.

For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. (Romans 3:23)

What has been astounding to me is the number of Christians who felt they could judge me without having a conversation first.

Therefore let us not judge one another anymore, but rather resolve this, not to put a stumbling block or a cause to fall in our brother’s way. (Romans 14:13)

I know in my heart that I fulfilled my marriage vows. As I have been putting my life back together, my true friends have supported me. I’ve also made new friends to replace those who believed the lies and prefer to gossip.

You can run away from a lot of things in life, but you can’t run away from yourself. And the key to happiness is to understand and accept who you are. (Dale Archer)

God has given me a new life with Lisa and I am not going to feel any guilt concerning my decision to move on. Life is too short not to be happy.

We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves. (Buddha)

5 thoughts on “Finding Joy

    1. Thanks, Jo! I had hoped that most of this drama was behind me. I’m hopeful that sharing my experience will be helpful to someone else. I’ve discovered that much of what I have been through is not unusual. I definitely find joy in not having drama every day.

      Liked by 1 person

Start a conversation...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s